why would you name your child “newt.” it’s like me naming you ameoba… “beeboo beeba ameoba!!” they might as well name him “hamburger” or “eggplant” or “prostate” or “baconator” …i don’t know, it’s fucking dumb! i mean, am i the only sane one in the world?! like if it’s fucking shit, it’s fucking shit! it’s not poopy shmoopy woopy, it’s fucking shit! i mean, fucking dick, jesus dick!! i mean when he was born, did he look like reptilian or something, like amphibian salamander newt? why didn’t you just name him “cobra starship?!” like would you like to be named “anaconda, annie annie conda, your name is anaconda.” stupid fucking people why don’t you name your children human names?!
|—||writing exactly what my mother is ranting about, word for word, about newt gingrich. (via youguysarelame)|